We always feel the need to hang on to something. For some, it may be a thing they otherwise have no use for but still keep way in the back of their closets. For most of us, it is a relationship, a job, or it may even be an ideal. It makes us feel secure. It makes us feel that even if our whole world comes crashing down on us, we at least have that.
For me, it is the false sense of security that I am with someone, that I am his and he is mine. Immersed in the chaos of Tokyo city life, it comforted me that even in this strange place, I at least belong to somebody.
And so for six years I've held on to a love that had always been meant to be lost. I held on as tightly as I could, thinking that each added effort would be the moment that everything will again become as magical as the first glimpse of us.
But now, I finally dared to let go. It is terrifying but at the same time liberating. For the first time in years, I will finally be able to live my own life, to discover what I really want and to realize what I truly need.
Oh, and there's nothing quite like the thrill of free falling. =)
1 comment:
Hmm...I thought so in the past too...held on to a relationship for 4 years which the love had already gone. But then, I realized that it is not a relationship that can give sense of security. It is the satisfaction of ones heart that one feels secured and satisfied oneself. I then learned to be alone and never feel lonely and insecure. And end of onething gives you the chance and open your eyes to understand yourself and what you really want and what is good for you. :)
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