Taken with my iPhone
A few years ago, after Paul and I watched the movie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (no, not together), I said to him that I wish it were true - that you can have something done to your brain that would make you forget certain things in your past. For the past few years ever since I came to Japan, it seems that's all I ever wanted - a way to forget the past as if it never happened and to get a clean slate. No mistakes that people can judge you by.
But just this evening, as I was browsing through old emails from someone I hope I may call friend, one email made me realize how precious it is that we get to remember. We get to remember not only the way each moment of joy made us smile, but how alive and happy we felt. We get to remember not only the way every hurt made us cry, but how we picked ourselves up that led to the wonderful life we are living right now. I know I still have a long way to go to finally accept and be at peace with the hurts and mistakes of the past, but as I said in a previous post, when I finally get there, hopefully I will finally understand that although the past will always be a part of who I am, I can still be the person I have always wanted myself to be.
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