"Who'll light the darkness with his name,
heal this blackout pain."
20 Million, Rivermaya
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
So You Think You Can Be A Pisay Scholar?
So you think you have what it takes to be a Pisay scholar?
So you think you have what it takes to be counted among the best and the brightest in the country?
Apply now!
Deadline is on August 27, 2010.
The PSHS National Competitive Examination is on November 6, 2010.
"Why do people think Pisay scholars are nerds?"
We are not nerds,
We are not geeks,
We are just gifted.
=p
So you think you have what it takes to be counted among the best and the brightest in the country?
Apply now!
Deadline is on August 27, 2010.
The PSHS National Competitive Examination is on November 6, 2010.
"Why do people think Pisay scholars are nerds?"
We are not nerds,
We are not geeks,
We are just gifted.
=p
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Burst Of Sunshine!
Funny but I feel so energetic this week. Well, not in the true sense of the word, though. My body still feels tired, but there's this drive to do everything I can with whatever energy I have.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Do You Believe in Soulmates?
I don't believe in soulmates. I believe in best friends, I have one. But soulmates? Not really.
I mean, isn't it too much wishful thinking to believe in that someone with whom you can deeply connect with in ways no other person can? That someone who seems to understand you even without so many words, someone who seems to understand even your silences? That someone who makes you feel enough and complete all on your own, yet makes you realize that life can be so much more wonderful by having each other? That someone to whom you can tell all your secrets, your innermost fears, your craziest ideas, your most ambitious dreams without much hesitation but with much trust instead? That someone who makes you want to hold hands and whisper "I love you" in all the beautiful ways those three words can ever mean.
I don't believe in soulmates. But then I met you.
You are that someone with whom I can deeply connect with in ways no other person can. You are that someone who seems to understand me even without so many words, that someone who seems to understand even my silences. You are that someone who makes me feel more than enough and complete all on my own, yet makes me realize that life can be so much more wonderful by having you in my life. You are that someone to whom I can easily tell all my secrets, my innermost fears, my craziest ideas, my most ambitious dreams without much hesitation but with much trust instead. You are that someone who makes me want to hold your hand and whisper "I love you" in all the beautiful ways those three words can ever mean.
I still don't believe in soulmates, but you know what? I believe in you.
...is what I would say to you if I could disregard reason for just one moment, if I could forget the consequences for one second, if I can convince myself that even just a short history of glances and moments could count for something.
I mean, isn't it too much wishful thinking to believe in that someone with whom you can deeply connect with in ways no other person can? That someone who seems to understand you even without so many words, someone who seems to understand even your silences? That someone who makes you feel enough and complete all on your own, yet makes you realize that life can be so much more wonderful by having each other? That someone to whom you can tell all your secrets, your innermost fears, your craziest ideas, your most ambitious dreams without much hesitation but with much trust instead? That someone who makes you want to hold hands and whisper "I love you" in all the beautiful ways those three words can ever mean.
I don't believe in soulmates. But then I met you.
You are that someone with whom I can deeply connect with in ways no other person can. You are that someone who seems to understand me even without so many words, that someone who seems to understand even my silences. You are that someone who makes me feel more than enough and complete all on my own, yet makes me realize that life can be so much more wonderful by having you in my life. You are that someone to whom I can easily tell all my secrets, my innermost fears, my craziest ideas, my most ambitious dreams without much hesitation but with much trust instead. You are that someone who makes me want to hold your hand and whisper "I love you" in all the beautiful ways those three words can ever mean.
I still don't believe in soulmates, but you know what? I believe in you.
...is what I would say to you if I could disregard reason for just one moment, if I could forget the consequences for one second, if I can convince myself that even just a short history of glances and moments could count for something.
Friday, August 13, 2010
When Things Go Wrong...
I can feel the weight bearing down on me, but as I said, not even Murphy's Law at its best can bring me down.
So right after I came back to work, I now find myself sick with a bad case of cough and sore throat. Haha, I guess this is fate's way of saying, "where do you think you're going, hmm?" Oh and there's nothing quite like the kick of a coughing spell when your back is hurting. Haha...
And I don't know exactly why curiosity killed the cat, but I'm sure curiosity broke my heart. Slapped right across the face with an incontestable unquestionable non-exclusivity clause. The sad (and funny) part is, after years, I should already know the rules by now, but time and again, I just can't seem to play the game.
Oh well, I know I will be fine. My body will heal, and my heart will find a way to deal. Or if I'm lucky, my heart will finally find someone who knows my true worth. =)
So right after I came back to work, I now find myself sick with a bad case of cough and sore throat. Haha, I guess this is fate's way of saying, "where do you think you're going, hmm?" Oh and there's nothing quite like the kick of a coughing spell when your back is hurting. Haha...
And I don't know exactly why curiosity killed the cat, but I'm sure curiosity broke my heart. Slapped right across the face with an incontestable unquestionable non-exclusivity clause. The sad (and funny) part is, after years, I should already know the rules by now, but time and again, I just can't seem to play the game.
Oh well, I know I will be fine. My body will heal, and my heart will find a way to deal. Or if I'm lucky, my heart will finally find someone who knows my true worth. =)
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Choice
Even though we're now a time zone apart, I still run to my mother when I am in doubt, stressed, or confused. Hearing her voice never fails to make me feel safe.
"Focus on the positive", was what she repeatedly told me. And she told me that if I were not her daughter, if she doesn't love me, and if she was just another ordinary acquaintance then she would probably think the same things that some people around me do. It makes sense. Of course, most people realize these kinds of things right out of kindergarten. But you have to understand, I was raised in an environment where I was so loved, not only by my immediate family, but also by relatives and family friends, that I never really had to worry about the "ugly" things. Only when I came here to Japan to live on my own did I really begin to realize that people do not have an obligation to love you or even be kind to you, no matter how good of a person you are.
I wish my mom was here. We're actually working on that, but the problem is nobody can't seem to find her birth certificate, even at the NSO. My father finds it amusing though and teases my mother non-stop that maybe the joke when she was a kid was true - that my grandfather just found her somewhere. Haha! (The story behind that joke is the fact that my grandfather is pure Chinese, and all my aunts and uncles look Chinese, except for my mother, with her dark skin and all. Hence, the joke.)
I miss home. No other place can make me feel as safe and as loved. I wish I could go back home. But I also wish I could stay here.
Sometimes, people ask me why I choose to stay, even though it would seem to be best if I return home, and when they know that I had been thinking about leaving Japan before. But this is different. If I give up now, it wouldn't feel like it really was my choice; it's more like the situation has forced me to make that choice. And as with all things, this for me is the only important consideration - it has to be MY choice.
That is all I want. Regardless of whether I would still want to stay here after all this is over. Regardless of whether I am still thinking of leaving Japan for good. It has to be my choice at a time when the choice is not dictated by the situation.
"Focus on the positive", was what she repeatedly told me. And she told me that if I were not her daughter, if she doesn't love me, and if she was just another ordinary acquaintance then she would probably think the same things that some people around me do. It makes sense. Of course, most people realize these kinds of things right out of kindergarten. But you have to understand, I was raised in an environment where I was so loved, not only by my immediate family, but also by relatives and family friends, that I never really had to worry about the "ugly" things. Only when I came here to Japan to live on my own did I really begin to realize that people do not have an obligation to love you or even be kind to you, no matter how good of a person you are.
I wish my mom was here. We're actually working on that, but the problem is nobody can't seem to find her birth certificate, even at the NSO. My father finds it amusing though and teases my mother non-stop that maybe the joke when she was a kid was true - that my grandfather just found her somewhere. Haha! (The story behind that joke is the fact that my grandfather is pure Chinese, and all my aunts and uncles look Chinese, except for my mother, with her dark skin and all. Hence, the joke.)
I miss home. No other place can make me feel as safe and as loved. I wish I could go back home. But I also wish I could stay here.
Sometimes, people ask me why I choose to stay, even though it would seem to be best if I return home, and when they know that I had been thinking about leaving Japan before. But this is different. If I give up now, it wouldn't feel like it really was my choice; it's more like the situation has forced me to make that choice. And as with all things, this for me is the only important consideration - it has to be MY choice.
That is all I want. Regardless of whether I would still want to stay here after all this is over. Regardless of whether I am still thinking of leaving Japan for good. It has to be my choice at a time when the choice is not dictated by the situation.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
REVIEW: 2009 Birthday Wishlist
Except for new pots and pans, I already got the items on my wishlist for last year.
(Images were taken from the Amazon website.)
1. Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook & Martha Stewart's Cooking School
DONE!
Did not get exactly these two, but I bought a couple of cookbooks so I guess this one's good as done.
2. Lowepro camera bag
DONE!
Again, didn't get this particular one, but I got a good enough cam bag.
3. The Digital Photography Book, Volume 3
GOT THIS!
4. Pots and Pans
PENDING.
I think I can make do with the ones I have for now.
5. Richard Poon's Autographed CD
GOT THIS!
According to my friend who works for ABS-CBN, there's an autographed CD waiting for me back home. Yay!
Will post my 2010 Birthday Wishlist a little later. =)
(Images were taken from the Amazon website.)
1. Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook & Martha Stewart's Cooking School
DONE!
Did not get exactly these two, but I bought a couple of cookbooks so I guess this one's good as done.
2. Lowepro camera bag
DONE!
Again, didn't get this particular one, but I got a good enough cam bag.
3. The Digital Photography Book, Volume 3
GOT THIS!
4. Pots and Pans
PENDING.
I think I can make do with the ones I have for now.
5. Richard Poon's Autographed CD
GOT THIS!
According to my friend who works for ABS-CBN, there's an autographed CD waiting for me back home. Yay!
Will post my 2010 Birthday Wishlist a little later. =)
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