2/365 (2010 Project 365) : Health

Nothing really inspired me enough today that would be worth becoming today's photo, but as I was walking home from a get together at Remy's apartment, I passed by a clinic in Tamachi that although already closed, had a huge green cross still lit up. It was really striking against the dark, empty building and the dimness of the street lamp a few feet away, and it just faintly lit the slogan on the bulletin board beside it - Safety and Health. Aha, and that's my photo of the day.

Taken with my iPhone

I think that will be a major focus for my 2010 - Health. Physical and emotional health. I need to love my body and myself more.

First, I have to actually believe that no matter how I actually look, I am a beautiful person. Until now, I still don't get why people mistake me as being pretty, when all I can see is a forehead wide enough for an airplane to mistake it for an airstrip, cheeks that look like something you'd order from a Chinese restaurant, skin that could land me a job as the "before" girl in a ProActiv ad, and thighs that could pass for Chinese ham. Yes, honestly, that's how I see myself, and no, I'm not fishing for anything. Yeah, it doesn't really show since I post close-up photos of my face in Facebook, but you have to understand that those are handpicked from thousands of photos and I practically jump for joy whenever I find a decent photo of me that I just have to post it. But enough of that "oh poor ugly me" mentality this year. I believe I am beautiful, whether I actually am or not. =p

Second, if I want to have even the slightest chance of getting that fairytale wedding before my late 30s, I have to get rid of the jeans-and-shirt mentality. Yes, jeans and shirts got me through college just fine, but for a single woman in her late 20s to early 30s, it just won't cut it. As my friends put it, the man of your dreams won't just turn up one day on your doorstep and ask you to marry him after you answer the door in a pigtail, a worn out shirt, and with your face as plain as a blank canvas. And as Icel put it, I have to dress up a little, put more than a little touch of make-up that's noticeable but not too much, and invest in some good hair products hahaha!

Third, whether I admit it or not, and whether it shows or not, my body is getting older and I need to eat smart and exercise right. This year, no matter how busy or lazy I get, I'm hitting the gym at least thrice a week and no more food binges - even on worse-than-a-break-up days.

Lastly, I have to get rid of the emotional baggages I've been carrying for the past 6 or 7 years. How can I move forward if I keep looking back? And no matter how ugly the years before had been, nothing is beyond repair. I just have to be at peace with my past and not just learn to let it go, but accept that it happened and that it will always be a part of who I am, and still know that I can still be the person I imagined myself to be.


==========

Today's "Things To Be Thankful For":

1. Jerry invited me to a get together at Remy's house and I'm really glad I went. Good food care of Jerry, hearty laughter with Remy, Janet, Jerry, and Erwin, and of course, tequila shots!
2. I had enough leftovers from New Year's Day dinner so I didn't have to cook anything the whole day, yipee!
3. Marvin promised to buy me Fibisco Chocolate Mallows tomorrow from a Filipino store near his house. I'm excited! Chocolate Mallows was one of my favorite treats as a kid.