She Is Enough And Everything For Me

“I hope the heart has a way of getting used to it, but that is just not the case.”
- My Mom, on me not being able to go back home for Christmas a few years ago.

This will be the 6th year straight that I am not home to wish my mom a Happy Birthday in person. I wish I could give her one of the things she wants most at this time – that her darling baby Honey would come home for good – and I’m as heartbroken as she probably is that it’s not something I could give her right now, not just yet.

I have always looked up to my mom, regardless of everything that would make her seem less of a person to anyone else’s eyes. As people would say about the people they love, she’s far from being perfect, but she is perfect to me, perfect for me. She is the main reason I am what I am today, and what I have chosen to be tomorrow (and I'd like to think I turned out OK, hehe...). She has played such a defining role in my life that I can’t help but just thank whatever it is in the universe that chose me to be born to her. She has been a good mentor when I was still beginning to learn about life; she has always been a good friend during those times when I am reminded that life is sometimes not what I expected it to be. In short, I can honestly say that despite all the good things in life I could aspire for, that I could strive for, at any given day, she is enough and everything for me.

When I was a kid and still too juvenile to confidently make my own decisions, I did not have any problem surrendering to her all the anxieties that make deciding so hard and all the reasons that make it so easy to be impulsive. And she never failed to guide me in the right direction so I can think clearly for myself – she never imposed her opinions on me nor made the decisions for me. Come to think of it, even now that juvenility has been replaced by immaturity, I still rely on her to set me in the right path.

These and a lot more to be thankful for, but the most important, to which I will be grateful for until forever, is that she kept our family strong and happy and loving. She could have been anything she wanted but she chose to nurture us, to be with us, to just be the core of the love that keeps us together. I remember she told me she had wanted to go to the US with her batch mates to be a nurse right after she graduated from UP. She told me of how successful her friends are now, with mansions in Dasma or elsewhere, a new car every year, and some even have their own private jet! I know she gets envious sometimes, but as she always says, “Who knows how far I could have gone in terms of everything, but sabi ko nga – eh di baka wala naman kayo ngayon.” to which my siblings and I would sometimes reply in jest, “Eh di baka Amerikano kami hehe.”

We don’t have a mansion, we don’t get a new car each year, and I definitely don’t fly back home in my own private jet, but Mama has given us everything we need – her commitment, her love, and a strong loving family. Thank you, Mama for everything! Happy Birthday!