That line from Fast Car never fails to get me thinking, "should I stay or should I go?" And I'm as torn as I was years ago. I could never make up my mind.
The thing is, my mind knows that I probably should leave, that I have a better chance of being happy and content somewhere else - be it in another country, in another company, in another part of Japan. But my heart, well, it never quite learned the concept of leaving people behind, of letting things go. I'm always more than willing to give people and situations one more chance. I always seem to end up thinking that maybe if I try harder, things will someday get better; if I try harder, I will someday find a very good reason to stay longer.
But no matter how confused I am now, I should make a decision soon. My visa is expiring this October, and my contract at work is up (again) in June. There's one thing I'm sure of though - I am so tired of having to reevaluate my plans every 6 months. I need something more stable and I know I'm not going to get that where I am now anytime soon.
Marvin and I are also working on an idea for a business, but that's not going to materialize anytime soon. I'm also considering going to culinary school and taking up some photography and design courses. But of course, I can do that even while working.
So many choices, so many decisions to make. I'm so thankful nonetheless - some people aren't even given a choice. Despite all the confusion, I'm still quite blessed.
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