Eight Years, No Regrets

The timid girl looked around the empty apartment, her grip on her suitcase’s handle tightening as she felt an unfamiliar loneliness. That feeling, a mixture of fear, panic, and a longing for home, made her want to run away and never look back, but where to?

I don’t know anybody here. I am all alone.

“No, you’re not,” I whispered as I laid my hand on her shoulder.

She looked up, and I can tell she recognized who I am, but barely. “Hey, I know you,” she said, “but something’s different, something’s changed. You’ve grown.”

“Yeah, 5 dress sizes, would you believe? Yakiniku and sushi can do that to you, you know, so some unsolicited advice – lay off the rice,” I said with a laugh.

“No, no, I mean, you’ve grown up. You seem stronger, wiser, and I even dare say, much happier. Your face – it’s as if you’ve just found the perfect pair of shoes that goes with your favorite dress, and it comes in your size.”

“That’s one way of putting it,” I said, amused at the analogy. “Well, you know,” giving her a knowing grateful smile, “you did that, all these eight years.

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Today marks my eight years of Tokyo and all I can say is that there are no regrets. Not because there are no unfortunate instances I sometimes wished I could take back, not because I never experienced pain I would give anything to forget, not because every moment is a blissful experience, but because every second of those eight years had led to THIS.

Those eight years was witness to my friendship with my best friend blooming into one of the best relationships I will probably know my entire life. Those eight years led me from Nippo, to Fusion, to Nikko, where I not only met some good coworkers from whom I have learned so much, but where I was able to find a comfortable enough place for this non-geek in IT. Those eight years introduced me to some of my closest and most trusted friends – May, Malen, and Icel – and the whole SFC community. Those eight years gave me something to keep me going – photography and cooking – and something that brings me fulfillment especially at times when I already feel as though I have nothing left to give.

Most importantly, those eight years made me into someone I definitely would want to be. I may not be all that stronger, but I know now when I have to at least try to be. I may be none the wiser, but I damn hell sure know when I am just being downright stupid. I may not have accomplished much in anybody’s eyes, and certainly not in ways I had dreamed I could starting out, but this is definitely a much better version of that timid girl in that empty apartment some eight years ago.