Booked And Packed

Well, booked, at least.

I'm not nearly done packing just yet.

And it's not out of sheer laziness (although I must admit, it does play a small part), but because it makes the sadness of leaving just a little too real, a little bit too painful. It's sort of like going to the doctor to get an injection - you know it's going to hurt, so you wish for it to be over in a split second or you keep putting it off ("wait wait wait I'm not yet ready!). That's how I feel now. I wish I could just skip the packing and the goodbyes and just be home already. And as my still sane mind is clearly aware that this isn't possible, I keep putting going through the process off for as long as I can.

A friend told me the other day that I shouldn't be scared of leaving especially now with email, instant messaging, FB and whatnot. It's not as if I would just all of a sudden not hear from the people I care about here. And of course, there's my visa - valid until 2013 - so if I really get to miss them that much, I can always come back.

Honestly, it's not the missing that I'm afraid of. It's the forgetting that scares me. It's the possibility that one day I will not matter as much as I'd want to matter to the people I hold close to my heart, and that maybe I had lost the only chance I had of telling them just how special they are to me.

But I guess the only thing I can do is have faith in the bond I think I have with those people. I have to believe that I had made enough of a difference in their lives for them to take a very long time, if not forever, to forget me. And that even in the time spent apart, I would always be with them.